Anyone who's ordered a burger at a gastropub or upscale restaurant is likely familiar with this scenario. Your server comes to the table with your food, but to your disappointment, you see not a bottle of ketchup, but a stainless steel condiment container next to the plate with something vaguely ketchup-looking. However, it is clear that its color and texture appear distorted.
If handmade ketchup is the bane of your existence, rest assured you're not the only one. In the last episode of Kareem Rahma Subway Takes Following the web series, Rahma spoke to comedian Paul Scheer and asked him what his “perception” was.
“Restaurants need to give up handmade ketchup,” Scheer said, to which the host responded: “I agree 100 percent, no craft ketchup.”
“Heinz has perfected this, we don't need your mango ketchup,” Scheer continued. “I just want the candy, I want the taste of Heinz.” “Preach, brother,” Rahma said, nodding excitedly.
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Referring to a related complaint, Scheer also stated that if restaurants are to serve hamburgers, there should be no extra fries. “It's two separate things to me,” he said. Rahma chimed in and said, “If I go somewhere and the burger doesn't say 'burger and fries,' you have to buy the burger for $8 (actually $18 in New York City) plus $7 for the fries. Can you bring the special ketchup?” ?”
“You're ruining the experience, I don't even enjoy the fries and the fries are the best part. Then you're going to give me this big of a pitcher,” Scheer said, holding the glass in his hand. fingers one inch apart. “Like, don't treat me like a fucking animal.”
The duo then expressed their sympathy for the poor restaurant workers who were probably “stomping tomatoes” in the kitchen to make ketchup from scratch. “Is this what ketchup is made of?” Rahma asked, and Scheer shouted: “I don't know how he did it, but… I don't think anyone does! That's why it's so bad! The Heinz factory came up with something no one can copy.”
But they disagreed a little more when it came to making mayonnaise, and Scheer said it didn't bother him too much. “I disagree 100 percent, I want Hellmann's,” Rahma responded.
“I'll give you a more controversial perspective, I love Miracle Whip,” Scheer said. “Oh, Miracle Whip is disgusting! Oh my god,” Rahma exclaimed in astonishment, adding: “Get out of the show.”