When I wrote about the Kivin method recently, I was overwhelmed by the response. Not only were people doing it, but they were swearing by it. It’s a type of cunnilingus (oral sex on the vulva) where the giver lies perpendicular to the receiver. The technique is very simple, but it’s a serious game-changer for many. It’s a fun and different sex position that allows for side-on stimulation of the clitoris, vulva, and perineum, which can allow for greater access to sensitive areas; greater stimulation; and increased pleasure leading to more intense orgasms.
This simple technique is one of the best sex positions for women and can make your oral play incredibly exciting. As much as there are variations of the missionary sex position, this variation on the traditional oral is one of the easiest ways to become a better lover.
Here is brief information on how to apply the Kivin method.
Drawing by Katie Buckleitner
What is the Kiwi Method?
The Kivin method is a position for oral sex that prioritizes comfort, easy access, and pleasure for both partners. When receiving oral sex, many people worry that it takes too long and they worry more about their partner's comfort than the pleasure between their legs.
It’s also worth noting that many partners experience discomfort when performing oral sex because they want to do a good job. They want their partner to feel good. This is great in theory, but in practice, your muscles may become tense and you may not be able to hold the position for very long. This method focuses on alignment, creating a more enjoyable experience for everyone.
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How to Make Kiwi Method
- The recipient lies on his back in a position comfortable for him.
- The donor then lies perpendicular to the recipient (imagine a T-shape), positioned sideways facing the vulva.
- This may be easier with the recipient's leg slightly elevated or pressed against their chest. Once you are in position, the giver can explore the entire vulva (including the perineum!) using any technique, rhythm, or pressure they desire.
- As always, follow the buyer's lead; ask what makes you feel good or what could make the experience even better.
Benefits of Kiwi Method
The Kivin method’s positioning allows for precise stimulation. By allowing access to sensitive areas, it can significantly increase pleasure for the receiving partner while giving the giving partner more control over the experience. One of the main advantages of the Kivin method is that it emphasizes reducing physical strain. The giving partner can assume a more relaxed posture. This alignment helps both partners stay relaxed and focused on pleasure.
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Why Does It Feel So Good?
We already know that the clitoris is home to thousands of sensitive nerve endings, but the clitoris is much larger than just the outer protrusion. And licking around the clitoris, labia, urethral opening, vaginal opening, and the entire vulva can be truly pleasurable.
By licking or touching the clitoris from a perpendicular angle, you gain greater access to surrounding erotogen zones, such as the labia and perineum (the area between the vagina and anus). It also makes it easier to finger at the same time, as many people enjoy the blended stimulation of oral and fingering.
This angle is more comfortable for the giver because they can support themselves more easily. Additionally, you can use sex pillows (or regular pillows) to provide better alignment and support.
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How to Incorporate the Kiwi Method
Discussing new sexual experiences and trying something for the first time can be nerve-wracking. If you're nervous, you can send them this article and see what they say. Or, you can try this approach:
1. Talk About It
Before introducing the Kivin method, have an open conversation with your partner about your interest in this position. Discuss how you both feel about trying it and how you want to integrate it into sex.
2. Application and Game
Feel free to try different variations of the Kivin method to find what works best for both of you. I like to break it up into practice and play sessions. Practice this new position first, agreeing with your partner that it will be off-target, then play with the new skill.
3. Focus on Comfort
Use pillows or cushions to support your body and make sure both people are comfortable. A supportive arrangement can improve the overall experience and help both partners relax.
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4. Improve the Skill
As with any new technique, it can take some time to get comfortable with the Kivin method. Sex is a skill, and sometimes it takes practice to learn what you like. Encourage your receiving partner to identify what feels good; talk about it if they want you to stop, pause, or try something else; and create an environment in your sexual relationship where you can practice your oral sex skills together.
Level Up 5
Once you’re feeling good, try adding sex toys for external or internal stimulation (e.g., nipple clamps, anal beads, and vibrators). This position leaves your hands free to create more sensation: caress your partner’s thighs, use your fingers to digitally stimulate other erotogen zones, or grab her bottom. Lube is always a great idea, especially if you’re stimulating internally.
And remember, you don’t have to be an expert the first time! This is a really simple tweak that can completely change the game when it comes to oral sex positions.
Why You Should Trust Me
I am a certified sex coach; a journalist; and the co-founder of Normal, a sexual health company that provides educational courses and products for those exploring sexuality and sex toys. I am also the author of the upcoming book, The Modern Sex Guide. My area of expertise is somatic sex, defined by body awareness and the science of human sexuality. My goal is to normalize the conversation around intimacy, sex, and relationships.